Running has taken a bit of a back seat over the last few weeks as preparing for exams took priority. Yes, exams!
21 years after finishing high school, I am embarking on a journey into higher education! One of my biggest regrets was not getting a degree and I don’t want a life full of regrets. I have actually started this journey a few times before. I’ve even gained a few first year credits but I’ve always quit after a while. I was lacking focus, motivation, direction or discipline.
Things have changed over the last few years though. Maybe it is because I have grown up a bit. I’ve found a some direction, career-wise. I’m nurturing my love of writing as a form of creative expression and I have opportunities for this expression at work. I do believe that there is a space for me as a creative in a corporate space.
Running has played a huge role in all of this. For one thing, the life changing experience of learning to run inspired me to start writing – which then reminded me of how much I enjoyed playing with words. And the fact that you guys read this blog and comment, share and motivate me to write more has given me confidence in my ability to craft with words. This has given me goals to work toward in my career. So thank you for that!
The other thing involves the unlikely reality that I went from a confirmed couch creature to a runner. As in a real runner who buys expensive shoes, participates in races, has a CGA running license and medals. I realised that if I could change this most fundamental part of me… the part that couldn’t maintain or enjoy any physical activity, then perhaps I can change other fundamental beliefs about myself, like the self defeating idea that I lack the discipline to see a tertiary degree through to completion.
So back to those exams. Well, they’re done for now. I don’t know about how well done, though. Just figuring out how to study has been a bit of a learning curve, if you’ll excuse the pun. It took weeks of procrastination, opening and then quickly closing the books again because I didn’t know where or how to start.
Eventually with the exam deadline looming large in front of me, I had no option but to start somewhere. I didn’t give myself enough time to cover the material as well as I should have and I have been incredibly stressed over the last two weeks about whether I knew enough to attempt the exams. I’m very grateful to my family for putting up with me hibernating in my study and supplying me with endless tea, hugs and motivation.
I can’t promise I won’t procrastinate next semester but I do think I’ll be a bit clearer on how to get going. At the end of this, dressed in a cap and gown, with a degree in hand, the stress and hours studying will all be worth it.
Wish me luck as I wait for the results to be released! For now, I need to find some running focus again!