Such a simple equation – not!

One of the reasons I joined RWFL last year was to lose weight and I certainly have lost weight. I am about 17 kilograms lighter than I was this time, last year. It would be awesome to say that I RunWalked the weight off, but it wouldn’t be the whole truth. I have heard it said that weight loss is 10% exercise and the balance is determined by diet. I can certainly attest to that. I didn’t start losing weight, despite regular walking sessions until I got serious about my food intake.

This is the point where I could launch into an essay on my chosen food plan (LCHF) but I am going in a different direction here.

I wish it was as straightforward as eat right and move and the weight will fall off. I guess if you are boiling the ingredients for a successful weight loss recipe down to their absolute essence, then it is that simple. The reality is quite different.

If running were as easy as just putting one foot in front of the other, it would be awesome… but lacing  up my running shoes and going out on the road is a huge head-game for me. Finding the motivation to keep going is a learned behaviour and I have a feeling it can easily be unlearned. I am too scared to stop moving now in case the unlearning happens 🙂

I think the same principle is even more relevant in respect of diet.

There are so many reasons I have used to eat and only one of them is Maslow’s basic need to nourish my body. I eat because I am happy, sad, bored, stressed, celebratory and commiseratory (yes – I just made up a word!) and every emotion in between.

To make my emotional relationship with food even more complicated, I also have an addict’s relationship with sugar. Yes, that’s right – I truly believe I am a sugar addict. A lick of icing, a square of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk or even a single Jelly Tot is a slippery slope into Binge Valley for me.

I am trying to unlearn these behaviours and teach myself new attitudes toward eating and it is hard, relentless work. I am having to learn to feel emotions instead of eat them and I have to learn to avoid food triggers like they’re poison.  Some days I succeed in my efforts and other days I fail miserably. Some days I actually look for reasons to trip myself up… so complicated is my head! But everyday is a new day to keep trying.

keep-trying-a-poem-by-pookyThis was a tough post for me to put out to the blogosphere. It is about an issue that is deeply personal for me and I am a little nervous about putting such personal stuff out for public consumption. But it’s been in my head for a few days and if it’s still in my head, maybe it need to come out on my keyboard. I imagine it may resonate with some readers and seem like complete nonsense to others… either way, I would love to hear your thoughts!

Hil xxx

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One thought on “Such a simple equation – not!

  1. I’ve just been looking through RWFL photos over the last year, and was just thinking that you’re looking so much thinner than a year ago!
    Nicely done on the weight loss, I know it hasn’t been easy.
    I hear you on the food issues though, it’s so very hard to cut out the things I love because of my cholesterol problems now 😦

    Liked by 1 person

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